Heightism in online dating. June 18, I came across a heightism thread on Reddit today, and I found the following report stunning: I made two accounts in different metropolises in the country using the exact same profile picture and descriptions but in one the height was listed as five foot seven and the other it was six foot three. And this was a “good looking” “handsome” “fit” guy. The five foot seven guy? ZERO messages received first; ever. Not one. And mind you this guy was attractive and fit.
Women Are Super Shallow About Guys’ Heights. Why Is Everyone OK With That?
Very few guys care that a woman is taller than them. TSC: Mother of God. This is easily the most body shaming ad of
Before you rush to update your online dating profile (men are said to exaggerate their height by an average of two inches), it should be noted.
When Alison asked her intelligent, liberal and usually lovely girlfriends, the majority agreed that they would be hesitant dating a short er guy. My phone buzzed with a text from a friend. Because, surely, that’s more important, right? It coincided with me meeting a male friend for lunch who, standing at around that height, is really struggling in the dating world. Heightism is rife, particularly on apps like Tinder, and particularly towards men.
Statements like “I’m 5’10 in heels — you do the maths” scream out from the profiles of lots of women. I wonder what the response would be if men looking for a date wrote: “If you don’t have big boobs and a small arse, don’t bother”. There would be blood. It’s terrible double standards. When I asked around my intelligent, liberal and usually lovely girlfriends, the majority agreed that they would be hesitant dating a short er guy.
In fact, most had quite a strong reaction to it, like height was a deal-breaker. I think there’s a sense, which is terrible, that a guy who is shorter is somehow less manly. Or it seems that way. One of my girlfriends used the term “throw-down”, as in that’s what she wants from a guy — a wrestling move.
Why being short is a deal breaker
All one needs to do is visit any online dating site and read women’s personal ads. Height requirements of men are listed openly and proudly so.
T his week, the actor Jameela Jamil said she wants to see fewer dating stereotypes on screen. Instead of the usual conventionally-pretty-woman-meets-conventionally-handsome-man trope, she wants to see love between able-bodied and disabled characters, mixed-race love and, why not, tall women with short men. It is with much shame that I admit to having been one of those women: the ones who judge the attractiveness of a partner as proportional to his height.
I could distance myself from my height-shaming by telling you that We are strong. Why not extend this newfound acceptance of short men to the big screen? In film and media I want to see short men with tall women.
The other day, I was checking my WordPress dashboard to see search options that led people to my little corner of digital space. Unfortunately, with my curiosity lit, I proceeded to exercise what I can only describe as a practice in self flagellation. I went on Google and started a search. It is an absolute travesty of epic proportions. Seriously…the things that were written, and the people who commented in support are an absolute atrocity!
I mean, my GOD, people!
Biker’s Nemesis. Search My Stuff What’s New 3 12 24 DonkeyApple 37, posts months. Surely someone discriminating by height on a dating profile criteria is doing people a favour? Another benefit to not being tall? GCH 2, posts months. If you’re not tall then you can still go far, you can have a fantastic career too, Just like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do I’m 5’7″, which I don’t have an issue with myself. My dream car is a Ferrari Testarossa and, having sat in a few, I feel being any taller would make things difficult – it’s a surprisingly snug car!
But, I did find it rather irksome when I went through a phase of online dating and women as small as 5’2″ were insisting that they’d only date men who were 5″10″ or above. I find both tall men and women gangly and some how “not cobbled together right” plus they look worse naked.
Jameela Jamil calls for an end to short men shaming in heartfelt Twitter plea
Whether it’s in their professional career, personal life or something else — it’s simply the way it is. Peter Manning owns the short man clothing market. Their goal is to help minimize the Tailor Tax as much as possible. In today’s article, I show you 5 common times when short men are screwed over and show you how you can overcome them. Heightism has been a very common occurrence in recent years. The state of Michigan even went as far as prohibiting height discrimination.
I arrived on the singles scene in with an aching heart and a lot to learn. Seemingly overnight, dating apps had shifted from the desperate domain of the overs to the new normal. Every man and his dog were on Tinder — or every man and his sedated tiger, all dumb grins and flexed muscles bulging out of Bintang singlets. Initially hesitant, I got into the swing of it soon enough; window-shopping for boys from the comfort of your couch sure has its benefits, and amongst the beefed-up bodybuilders and BDSM buffs, there seemed to be a few potential suitors.
After all, I have a clean record, wide smile and impeccable hygiene. The reality was rife with rejection. I met men who seemed keen but never texted again; men who only wanted sex; men who were rude to waiters red flag ; men who flirted with waiters double red flag. It was perhaps the most profound two words ever uttered to me online: app fatigue.
[Weekender] Korea’s obsession with tallness
The first dating article I ever published dealt with the single issue that has bugged me the most during the 30 years I have been working with singles. After all, this is one area in which many women display all the shallowness and superficiality that they love to accuse men of possessing. But the one criterion they would not budge on was his height!
I am not just talking about tall women.
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I know, I know, for someone who preaches equality and encourages people to embrace differences because we are all beautiful in our own way , I have some explaining to do. So, let me explain. I am a tall woman. I was one of the three tallest kids in my primary school, and remained the tallest girl through most of high school, too. And I like being tall, I really do.
I suspect my ability to overcome adversity has something to do with my less than ideal school life, as does my deeply ingrained insecurity and perfectionism about my physical appearance. But of the many things I was bullied for, height is the only one that has had a lasting impact on my life. A real, tangible effect. My heightism. I was and am made to feel undesirable because I am a woman who takes up more space in the world than many others, and society fetishises small women.
Dare I say it, childlike women. The picture of a desirable woman is one who appears youthful — small; soft; flawless skin; no body hair to be seen. Or telling them that they should change, whether through surgery or other means, unless it is something they truly want to do for themselves. And I am speaking anecdotally here, but I have noticed a trend: never in my countless friendships and conversations with women who date men have shorter women been made to feel unsexy or been rejected because of their height.
The Height of ‘Heightism’
Even supermodels and A-list actors struggle with it. There are plenty of exceptions, however. Look at legendary beauty Sophia Loren and her much shorter husband, Carlo Ponti, or sultry movie star Nicole Kidman and country singer-songwriter husband Keith Urban or model Sophie Dahl and her musician husband Jamie Cullum.
My “heightism” differs from the standard definition in a few ways: firstly, I have absolutely Secondly, I don’t want to date men who are a specific height, I just have a strong Pingback: Online Dating Her – Isobella Wolfe.
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Is height important on dating sites?
It’s no secret that people are often drawn to certain physical characteristics when it comes to seeking out a partner. But then again, it’s also no secret that any man who stipulated he was seeking a size 2, minimum 34D on his profile would end up with a steady diet of swipes left, or possibly even hate mail. The number of ladies on dating sites listing a minimum height requirement for potential matches is stunning. But you only have to skim through a few women’s online dating profiles to discover height is regularly listed as a qualifier — sometimes, as the only qualifier, even for women of average height.
They suffer on the dating front, especially online; when a 5’4” blogger added five inches to his height on his OkCupid profile, his response rate.
The first column I wrote three years ago dealt with the single issue that bugged me the most during the 23 years I ran the dating service LunchDates. Frankly, it was the aggravation caused by this issue that partially motivated me to start writing these columns. I am referring to single women’s prejudice against meeting short men. Since I doubt that too many current readers actually saw that column, I decided to revisit the topic. After all, this is one area in which many women display all the shallowness and superficiality that they love to accuse men of possessing.
The same woman who is pounds overweight, and who cannot understand why a man might not want to date her because of those few extra pounds But the one criterion they would not budge on was his height! I am not just talking about tall women. It is certainly understandable that a woman who is 5 feet 10 inches might want to meet a man over 6 feet tall. In fact, though, the few women who stated that they were open to meeting men shorter than themselves tended to be taller women.
What really perplexed me was the number of short women who insisted that they only would date men considerably taller than themselves. It was very common for women 5 feet 4 inches or under to state that they “absolutely” only wanted to meet a man at least 5 feet 10 inches, and they really preferred 6 feet.